A 20 Year Old Man’s Approach To Sex


Image by Tomizak

So, what does sex mean to you? Even if you don’t know that you have an answer for this, you do. Both knowingly and unknowingly, sex is going to be at the centre of your life throughout your early twenties – which makes it worth your while to take a few moments to reflect on where you stand in relation to your own sex life. And that’s exactly what we’re doing here with this blog; looking at how we approach it at this point in our lives.

Getting To Grips

Being twenty is a great age. It’s the grace period between teenage melodrama-laden relationships and the unmitigated hell of having actual responsibilities. You’re old enough to be recognised as a free agent, but young enough that still nobody really expects anything of you, which is great because that leaves you a lot of time for other stuff, like trying to develop a sex life.

It’s also the age that you realise that everybody was lying to you about sex. If you believed everything you’d heard as a teenager, depending on your sources, you’d think that losing your virginity would be the gateway into a tantric rockstar lifestyle, or be filled with a crippling fear of crabs, gonorrhea, or a mixture of both.

You’ll find that losing your virginity wasn’t even that important. Sure, you thought it was when it happened, because when you’re a teenager you think everything’s important so long as it involves you. But first times are the ones where you’re going in with the most theory and the least practical knowledge. Like with any contact sport, your first few years are always going to be putting in the groundwork before you’re ready for the big leagues.

Body Image

Back in the bad old days of rampant sexism throughout society, it used to be that women were unfairly pressured into an idealised notion of beauty in order to get a place on the sexual ladder. Now, we’re in a more modern, more equal society, where men get to be unfairly pressured into an idealised notion of beauty in order to get a place on the sexual ladder too.

If you’re already skinny and handsome, that’s great, and you should probably be out getting laid instead of reading this. But maybe you aren’t. Maybe you’re ugly. Maybe your face looks like someone tried to perform plastic surgery on a brick, and instead of a scalpel they used another, bigger brick, in which case things can suck.

This is more important the younger you are, since at the age of twenty there’s approximately zero chance you’re going to be rich, wise or witty enough to compensate for it. 21st Century gender politics is complicated, but all you really need to know at this point is that you’ll be spending a lot of money on shirts and hats to compensate.


Over the course of your sex life, you might feel like trying Viagra, Cialis or some other supplement. It’s not something you need to be self-conscious about; nearly half of Viagra users take it recreationally, and there’s no stigma attached to being curious. Plus, even if erectile dysfunction does happen to you, it doesn’t make you any less of a man. Maybe your body is keeping the blood away from your genitals in case it needs it for something even manlier, like chopping wood or hunting bison. Just make with a plausible excuse and get out of there and nobody will think any the less of you – mine is that I get put off by my allergies to cats hair and crimson hair dye. Since I only date hipster art students, it pretty much covers all my bases.

As everyone with a working email inbox has noticed, solutions are readily available. It’s an important enough issue that Viagra holds the honor of being the fastest-approved commercial pill in the history of drug approval. When the forces of capitalism, politics and science converge like that, you’d be silly not to want to try it at least once.

So that’s the framework for sex for the next few years of your life. You should drop us a comment and let us know if we missed anything important.


Ed Hitchman is a writer and blogger, who passes his wisdom and maturity down to the youth of today, despite technically still being one of them.