Will Polyamory Work For You?
Plenty of myths surround the nature of polyamorous relationships. Some people are quick to assume that polyamory will do no good for perfectly monogamous relationships. They also believe that it is no different from cheating on a partner and that it is just a new term for adultery. The truth is that these people are ill-informed. Polyamory is a very distinct practice and, when executed properly, will make everyone involved happy and secure in their relationships.
In reality, when done the right way, polyamory has a lot of benefits. This is not just for the polyamorous person, but for all of his partners as well. There is no harm in trying to seek other pleasures from other people when you accept that your primary partner cannot give it to you. You can’t expect someone to have everything you want, and you can’t blame yourself for wanting more. If your partner supports your decision to find those desires outside of your relationship, then you may be ready for a polyamorous life.
If you think you have what it takes to lead a polyamorous life, think again. And again. Think it over lots of times. When you are sure, read through this again. Here, we try to determine whether you are ready for that kind of life. We will see whether you have what it takes to make the most out of polyamorous relationships.
1. You know it’s not entirely commitment-free.
This is one of the most common misconceptions about polyamory. Some people think that seeking pleasure outside of their relationships requires no commitment at all. Polyamory requires you to commit to a primary partner, and to your secondary or other partners, at the same time. It does not let you just get what you want out of people for nothing. Once you acknowledge that you have to meet your partners at a certain level where you need to commit and trust them, then you can consider polyamory as your way of life.
2. You understand the importance of communication in a relationship.
This is probably the most important thing about polyamorous relationships. All partners must communicate constantly. The key to keeping all the relationships working is to let each other know about your needs, your feelings, your desires, and your commitment. This is the one thing you can do to make all the relationships work. If you accept that you need to talk to your partners at all times, then maybe you can handle all the commitments.
3. You understand that it’s not all about sex.
What sets polyamorous people apart from swingers is that the latter are just after the sex. The purpose of polyamory is not just about being able to have more sex. This involves developing connections with other people and finding a common ground on which to build a relationship. It is a common involvement and not just a one-time, anonymous thing. If you think you can connect with people and not just have sex with them, then maybe polyamory can work for you.
4. You understand the importance of setting boundaries.
In any relationship, it pays to talk about each other’s concept of boundaries. These are not the same for both partners, so it’s best to understand what the other believes and to make them understand your own as well. Anxiety in relationships is common, so what more in polyamorous ones? Make sure these things are clear in your relationships. Only then can polyamory work for you.
Once you’ve understood all of these things, you are ready to try a polyamorous life. Talk to your partner and prospective secondary partner about the nature of this life, and see if they can accept your decision. It’s on you to make it work, so be sure to do your part. And do it well.
About the Author:
Ryan Rivera used to suffer from anxiety attacks for seven years. He now dedicates his life in writing articles that will help people in coping with anxiety, stress, panic attacks and depression. You can reach him through his Google+ account.