Sex Is A Normal Human Instinct
First of all sex is a normal human instinct. The problem occurs when one partner wants more than the other wants to give. If sex becomes addictive then like all addictions sex will destroy the relationship. As far as intimacy goes, the version we viewed in our childhood will be the version we play out as adults. I had a very peculiar definition of intimacy in my belief system. Intimacy was not safe between my parents. As a child intimacy meant pain and fear so I avoided and sabotaged intimacy in adulthood whenever it came my way. Many people do this and can’t figure out why. They want intimacy but push it away when it is offered. This is what I teach others who come to my groups. First we need to develop safe communications so we can talk to each other without one partner shutting down or getting angry. If we can develop safe communications then we can create healthy boundaries. Finally, intimacy will follow.